Wishes and aspects of happiness

During my childhood I had so many dreams for life. I wanted to be at the top of the world and touch the moon after flying for days. However, brutal - the time that was passing kept teaching me the things I couldn't do, enforcing me to let go the old imaginary wishes, replacing them with realistic and sensible fresh ones. Some of my wishes got true but most of them failed to cross the invincible hiatus between real and imaginary world. Still I couldn't feel the ecstasy that I thought my fulfilled wishes would bring along with them whenever I found myself under the horizon of successful dreams.

One of the most remarkable things regarding human life is that for everyone what's gone is gone, it can't be replaced. Added, our wishes are bound to future and the gap between present and future eats away the necessity and essence of the things we are insane about. Thus developed denial between facts and fiction renders us a weird mentality in which we start to laugh at ourselves for failing to speculate the obvious. That is the point where we come to realize our limitations, weaknesses and poor perception regarding the causes of whatever we didn't get. Different new wishes at that time; the cycle repeats.

But regardless of so many repetitions of such cycles in my life, I still don't stop myself wishing a lot. May be this is vastly insensible for me but I can't convince myself that fantasizing and wishing is a foolish way of passing time. It's life for me, a life that has so many absurdities, complications and uncertainties which catch me up and take me in the long chain of fictional reality. This indeed is the chain that is safe from the world of facts, the chain where we can challenge circumstances to be according to our needs, the chain where there are no time limits, heartaches or failures.

Take the other side of coin, many a times I derive happiness from everything I am facing even if it's for a while. I choose to join my chain in my wish land the next moment taking a quick detour when the real world adds lots of agony in my happiness. For I can take control of things in my wish land, for I can still be in the world of happiness, for isn't it happiness that we crave for in our lives? If a little imagination is what it takes to be happy, the time is perfect then to draw new lines between facts and fiction. For this is the only life we have and happiness is for us to take.

Let's catch our dreams and wishes, no matter even if in fiction because by that way we can be happy.

Unlit Candle

Dear Friends,

I am adding this story exactly word by word from "The Himalayan Times" of Monday, August 20, 2007 issue ..... I liked it so much and noted it down in my personal diary at that time ... this story gives us some great lessons to be happy whatever be the situation in life .. so here we go.

Unlit Candle ....... THT .... Monday August 20, 2007

A man had a little daughter-an only and much beloved child. He lived for her, she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health. 

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died.

The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse shutting himself up away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to hi normal self.

But one night he had a dream. He was in heaven and was witnessing a grand pageant of all little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lit. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl.

Rushing to her he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly and then asked "How is it, darling that your candle alone is unlit?" "Father they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear and its effect were immediate. From that hour on he was not recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

So, that was the story. From this story, I have learned the lesson that no matter how hard life be we should find some ways to be happy. There is never an ending point in the struggles of life. I will appreciate your thoughts and opinions in this regard. Please feel free to post important comments. Thanks.

With love, care and regards

Sanjeev

Career Prospects after B.Sc. Forestry

The big hall of Office of the Dean in Institute of Forestry, Pokhara has enormous values in the life of any Bachelor's level student over there because it marks the accomplishment of four years of study in IoF thus setting the inception of some new roads in career ahead. On the day of completion of presentation of his/her final thesis in front of the audience equipped with faculties, most students from IoF and a lot of other dignitaries from different organizations, an Undergrad feels relieved to achieve such a bright degree. Instantaneously, there may not be ideas of how to loom his/her future, yet the satisfaction of completing B.Sc. in Forestry easily purports in his/her face. The initiation point has occurred now from where he can travel long distances ahead to being a national cadre in the field of forestry and natural resource management.

There are different options and alternatives to proceed. Here, I will try to analyze some of the alternatives in which we can move on when we finish our Bachelors. Though I have still a long journey ahead, I do have some experiences to share regarding career prospects and the facets of my travel up to now can be helpful to my juniors. My colleagues and seniors would relive the struggles they faced after completing their Bachelors through this article. In my case, when I take a look back, I can easily feel the tough times I had to rush through to gain hand on opportunities in the field we are a part of.

The simplest option of all is to start M.S Forestry in IoF which is being run by the Dean Office. Though there are several prospects of career in that too, most of the students don't prefer to continue their further education in the same place. The reason may well be that students like to come out of the same study pattern, faculties and the ambiance around. Every year Dean Office in IoF, Pokhara selects 20 students for M.Sc. Forestry based on open competition among forestry undergraduates. There are several examples of people who have made their way to a prolific career in forestry after studying M.Sc from Pokhara.

The other option is to go for GRE, TOEFL and then apply to universities in US which offer Graduate Research Assistantships(GRAs) for MS study. Nonetheless, the rummage for universities and prospective professors usually accelerates after getting above average marks in GRE and TOEFL both. We can be ahead of the game if we start searching for universities and degrees offered by them in internet after finishing our undergrad. I won't be be focusing more on GRE and TOEFL here because we can know in detail about both once we start to study them. I would only say that GRE is much harder than TOEFL and we have to devote a lot of time, hard work, dedication and patience for it. Amazingly, in spite of all these endeavors, GRE ultimately depends on the luck factor. Normally, marks above 1100 (out of 1600) are considered good enough to obtain GRAs in forestry and the basic requirement for TOEFL iBT in order to apply formally to any university is 80 (out of 120).

Graduate Research Assistantships are offered usually by universities or professors in USA to undergraduates or graduates which includes full tuition waivers, health insurance and competitive stipends for their further study. In return, the student has to assist the professor in his/her research works apart from studying. The quest for GRA is indeed an arduous affair invariably because different failures encounter in the process compared to a very low success rate. Patience serves as the best key of success in such cases.

When we are done with GRE and TOEFL we start to search universities and professors who may offer GRA's in MS Forestry. If we find any professor who is willing to take students, correspondence to him play an important role here. We have to send an email which mentions about our degree and accomplishments attaching along side a reasonable CV that transparently explains everything about us. The professor may or may not encourage the student to apply formally to the university. In case he doesn't respond well we have to continue hitting the iron till someone finally comes up with some encouraging answers. Finally, in case of formal application, we need to apply online, send our GRE and TOEFL score sheets via ETS and hard copies of our Undergrad transcripts, Statement of Purpose, C.V., 3 letters of recommendation from old faculties (which may be sent online too) to the university. US universities generally make decision about the application in matter of a few days. Thus we have to keep on trying likewise unless we succeed in getting GRA.

There are some other options too. We can also try for European Scholarships such as European Forestry, SUTROFOR, SUFONAMA. Apart from this there are a lot of universities in countries like Germany, Norway, Denmark, Australia, Netherlands, India, etc which offer graduate courses in Forestry at affordable schemes with or without scholarships. Ample amount of information about these aspects remains just a click away in "SEARCH" icon of Google.

Regarding job aspects, we can prepare ourselves for the Public Service Commission exams for government officer ranks which generally tale place every year according to the schedule of PSC in Nepal.Otherwise, we can search for a decent job in different NGO's running in our country. But it is highly precarious to drop the ball by going for GRE, TOEFL and job side by side. We may come up with complete failures in both aspects in such a case.

In conclusion undergraduates in forestry have several prospects to move on in their career. All we need is hard work, patience and mental strength. Indeed regardless of when our award comes, hard work has so many things on offer.

If any of you have any queries regarding all these prospects I will be quite happy to solve them as far as convenient based on my terms and capabilities. Please feel free to contact me either on facebook or email me up at mars_sanju@hotmail.com.

All my best wishes to fresh undergrads of IoF.

New Dreams and New Life ............

Three days ago, when I was about to leave Nepal for my further studies in Louisiana State University, USA, I was being excited and emotional at the same time. The feeling of being recognized among a fresh circle of students and teachers amused me on one hand. On the other hand, however, the precarious mentality of being far from my parents, siblings and friends was indeed so emotional to me. I always knew that I had to leave the puerile handouts with old friends, the affection of people who care for me for this day. My parents and grandmother had made it hard for me to leave with their incessant though spontaneous tears during my farewell in the airport. There wasn't another alternative for me than to leave for making my career look on the trustful side. I left Nepal finally ..

The travel was really hectic, however, adventurous. A long transit in Bangkok, I was so hungry and decided to drink some juice. Oh god, it costed me 6 dollars, even the best restaurant in Nepal would have offered me juice in this money. Then in Japan, I almost missed the flight to Detroit, USA, may god bless the officer who helped me at the right time. Finally the travel accomplished leaving for me some of the sweetest memories of my life. It was amazing to see the pacific ocean from the sky, feeling of pinnacle to keep moving along side the clouds sometimes above them. Many a times the plane would shake a lot and the passengers would come up with ephemeral trepidations of an accident. It's hard to list all the feels that I went through, synopsis would be that this travel was the most eventful of all in my life. After all, almost 35 hours of flight with transits isn't a joke to be a part of.

When I realized I was in USA, I couldn't stop myself gazing at the places, people and different things around me. Its was kind of bizarre I guess but I didn't mind anything because I knew my mentality was on a roll to taste newness in life, why care for people around. It's been almost four days in this country and I am still trying hard to get a good overview of it. So that I can rummage for my new dreams which begin in this entirely new place for me. The new life which started for me upon my arrival in this eerie part of world, I sincerely hope will make a perfect way for my new dreams to come true. Otherwise, what's the use of the opportunity cost I left back in Nepal in memories of my friends, family and places.

Confused ..... everyone must be at this point of life ..... a turning point ....

Some secrets of me ...... Untouched, Unrevealed

Dear Friends,

Following, I have copied here exactly same from the diary I used to maintain during my Bachelor's in Institute of Forestry. This piece of writing is special to me in many ways ... as I have perceived it to be one of the best piece of writings I have ever written till now ... so please enjoy reading the unchanged version ....

Dated : 2064 - Baisakh - 3

Venue : Last bench, IOF Library

Waiting for : happiness to come my way

Secret : can't reveal tears never

technique : smiling face forever

Where am I : last benches, the old forgotten library of IOF

Complexity : love that's going to end soon; nobody is betraying expect time

Peace : a great imagination of my present life

Khusi : my beloved friend, I must learn many ways of being happy from her

Memories : forgotten hard chapters

Friendship : very mysterious opposite end

Best friend : am I the one for anyone

Enemies : time and god

Defeated : by luck forever; the weapons were gifted by my two enemies

Career : zigzag, on the trustful side though

Looking : myself in the lost and unidentified mirror of scattered dreams

Revenge : so hard to take

Two Girls : SA- golden assets of whatever I have achieved in years in IOF

Comparison : I can't compare my eyes, how can I in case of SA

Killing : my heart pains , occasional but deadly

Want to know : me, 10 years after travelling the boisterous road of life

Expectations : very big, win the summit before time rushes

Define yourself : a sentimental fool, occasional hard worker, isolated philosopher

Define world : complex, challenging and versatile

Touch and go : her smile, my father's mesmerizing lectures and my own jokes

Gift : smile for a smile, smile for no smile - the bigger one

Smile : best way to keep secrets, secrets of anxieties

Like to : make the most lonely person of the world my special friend

Hate : poverty, violence and hunger - big threats to earth

Mystery : unknown about self destination

Fun : touch to craziness and frivolity

Glimpse : embrace of life with demise; moment of the travel

Truth : series of hidden rain in my lone pair of eyes

Hope : uninterrupted sojourns

Strange : every person is different in other's perception

Wish : simplicity, as simple as I can be

Theory : principles and no principles, happiness and no happiness

Frustrations : unexpected wild anxious moments

Untouched : my varying heartbeats

Creativity : unfilled blanks of my life

Motto : a big smile before leaving the earth

Last lines : forget me, forget me not - depends upon you

Struggle Against Time

Time; though you have your own speed and velocity of your race, you keep touching the horeizon and breaking peoples' mentalities somehow. This must be the reason why I sabotage myself completely when I try my conventional struggles in my daily life against you. Those moments are really harsh to survive as you cover me up by spreading all over me brutally. The little flowers reproduced by you in the past have now changed into dead leaves off late through your own eternal magic; like others dead are the dreams running in my eyes as the denouements of the nasty changes regulated by you.

You are a great destroyer, I know. Yet, by some means I can accumulate courage to struggle against you. You offer pain which I try to heal through my smile, you are fond of travesty which I hate most ..... I promise I will keep fighting until even my last breathe is on. You are the cruelest dictator, I can see this in numerous lives being dominated by you. You are relentless when we want to be placid. How often you surprise the world by sending uncountable souls to paradise, you never surrender even in front of heavens. I know you are my biggest enemy, however, I still look up to your personality, dictatorship and enormous ability.

In spite of this, I have often suggested you to be a touch affable when the situation forces you to be. To be very clear I want you to treat lives magnanimously so that the people around can render respect to you and your persona. Otherwise, just watch and your existence will be precarious.

I am so sure about this because no one likes cruel dictators; and you top the list.

My Loneliness ........

Do I appreciate my loneliness?

There are two school of thoughts that my instincts hint me regarding my loneliness. The first being that loneliness has taught me to be strong, courageous and a survivor of heart breaking failures. However, on the other hand there is a big hand of depression being frantically involved whenever I find myself all alone.

During my loneliness as always the case is, tears rain down my eyes automatically though I have no idea of the cause. The boy for whom fun is as essential as his subtle daily chores, changes completely into a much somber man as if he has uncountable complexions to solve in life.

Yet, many a times I have felt that loneliness has made me stronger than I usually am. How can I forget the great library studies of IOF where actually loneliness was my only close chum. My attitudes and personality would turn into seriousness at its apex once I embraced that last bench of the library of IOF. That's why I was a declared last bencher during my stay in those four years.

I guess the argument about my loneliness being friend or adversary will never end; yet sometime or the other different upshots will keep coming.