Life for me in USA ..

Dear friends, its already been a little more than three months since I am in USA, however, I haven't still shared anything about my experiences in this country. I must not delay in sharing these vital learnings for me because unless jot down and shared I can't personally recount my mistakes and take the best part of the lessons for me to get my upcoming life favored during the more rigorous struggles I am yet to face. I am not afraid of struggles, however, they aren't my friends either. Apart from this hopefully the experiences I share will recourse all of you in some ways or the other as all of us have to face good and bad days in the odyssey of life.

The days up to now have been more on the adjustment sides as this is completely a new life style for me to cope with, some new faces to be familiar with and most importantly newer concepts to overcome to move ahead in my career. It's soothing to have friends from my undergraduate college here with me living together. A lot of seniors from Nepal are really caring and helpful and of course memories of my golden days of my home stay are helping me a great deal in my endeavors over here. As long as I try; for the way life flows; I hope I can definitely do something to make the flowing patterns as the way I like regardless of the fact that my efforts can completely go in vein. The take home message for me is that I have to find ways to rush to success by hook or by crook. I don't have alternatives in this regard and I don't want alternatives for this either. This has been such a great phenomenon in my life that my best shot comes up when things are worst for me.

There are a lot of things which I found hard to be at ease here but I have started to make all of them my chums. I miss my home badly, the moments with my family and close friends were so special. I really long for these things when I find myself all alone even if there is a big crowd around me. It's a big truth that even if we keep travelling in search of opportunities to foreign lands we need to depart from the ones we love, the places we enjoy to live at and the things we love to do in our home town. Memories remain as the best healers in such eerie departures of us and our cherished days in our country.

The dream of moving back to my hometown, to my family members who would do anything for my company, to the country roads in which I engulfed walking around mesmerized, to the cute smiles of elderly people and children in my village observing the way I lived, to the rain of our hometown with which we would be insane playing for uncountable hours is still there somewhere in all corners of my heart and will never end. The only thing is that I want to get my dream completed only after I am successful in my career for what I am here. The road ahead can be hazardous but stiffer are my mentalities to complete this journey. No matter in how many hectic ways it renders anxieties to us. We just have to keep travelling with all hopes, encouragement and hard work.

Swinging against depressions

Dear friends,

The character "me" here represents so many frustrated and depressed people all over the world. Though I have tried to mention the apex of depressed mentality over here, which none of us would have faced, I am sure everyone of us perhaps must have experienced even some leaves of the mentalities which I have expressed.

Walking alone ......

Destiny - thorns; only and only thorns and only isolation and solitude .......... human hates them .... bravo! I can't hate my destiny ......

No friends, no shadows, no world and no music
just alone, alone, alone

I am struggling to survive, my shadow has left me already due to the darkness of my life. Though, I am trying to smile to show the world that I am happy, no one can feel the tears of my heart.

A miserable life, long lasting loneliness, strong temptations .....

I hate my luck, it never afforded me happiness
I hate god, he never looked up to my veneration.

Is it the ample depression that I am surrounded with or that's a reality which forces me to sink in ocean of frustrations. I am baffling hard to find my answers.

I loose even if I am the only competitor. Friendship for me is just a way to remove sorrows from my daily life.

I am afraid my pessimistic approach can take me near demise, yet I will continue it, because when reality starts all dreams are limited within their small perimeters...

Father, I need you, please fortify my confidence and courage against the travesty around me right now. Help me father as I am finding myself lost forever .... Mother please be in my heart forever because your presence advents a lot of vehemence for me and after that every depression be a part of my life without any pain.

I had hurt myself by touching my wound with my own big and sharp finger nails.

Time is chuckling at me.... the brutal laugh as ever is using hardest of weapons to shorten the distance between me and my last breathe. I am swinging in the zenith of my struggle where two bosom friends are me and my death.

Still, I am proud of myself that I have experienced and survived a number of such doom days throughout my life ..... "travel even if pain is in each and every part of the body-my strongest philosophy"